Beth

Hi everyone! I’m a 38-year-old artist, who lives in Camarillo, with my partner Tom and our kitty Ooy.  Art is my passion and I pursue it as much as I can.  Lately, I’ve been painting thumbnails of abstract works and working on making my art more edgy and vibrant.  My goals are to get my license for the first time, go to college to eventually become an art therapist, and receive neurofeedback treatment. My hope is that the neurofeedback will help with my mental health difficulty and other health issues like my insomnia.   I’m a very goal oriented person, but my endurance is sometimes low because I get discouraged easily.   Despite my mental health challenges, I hope to be able to obtain my license, get the degrees and experiences I need to be an art therapist, and enjoy the health that neurofeedback can bring to a cloudy mind.

My mental health challenges make my life more complex.  Because of my Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) I am frequently disorganized, my thoughts get tangled and it becomes difficult to think and concentrate. Because of my Bipolar Disorder, type 2, I fight a feeling of numbness and apathy or I can spend a month’s salary on a weekend. Because of my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) I’m kept from doing things because of past memories, like driving, that most other people take for granted. My mental health may have provided me with some challenges, but there have been benefits.  Angela Duckworth calls it “Grit.” The ability to put your nose to the grindstone and push through.  To know that you can accomplish things, even through mental illness. Knowing you can push through even mental health struggles, that even that can’t stop you, that’s powerful stuff. I wouldn’t trade that to be “normal.”  Not a chance.

GOAL #1

My grandma was killed when her car got stuck on train tracks and was hit by a train. She died instantly.  I refused to believe she was dead until I saw her car. I didn’t have words.  I have never gotten my license. But I can’t let that hold me back, basically.  So, I am studying the DMV handbook.  I’ve taken the test a couple of times.  I am determined to overcome this! What it would mean is individual independence.  It would mean the liberty to go where I want when I want, without having to ask anyone for a ride. Which would be amazing!

GOAL #2

I want to be an Art Therapist. First, I need to continue to go to Ventura College and pursue my associates in liberal arts, art history, or art. To achieve this and work full time, I need to take 1 class per semester.  This is still going to be challenging and I’ll need plenty of that grit I mentioned. To start with, I need to get a bus pass to get from Camarillo to the Ventura College campus.  Thankfully, it’s just one bus. And eventually, I”ll be able to drive, which will make things easier.

Because of my challenges, I’m used to having quite a bit of processing time.  Until lately, I was working part time and relying on my disability benefits to fill in the gap.  Working full time means I will only have weekends to recharge, which will be a shocker.  Integrating a class into that will take my recharge time down to a single day, since one of those days I’ll be choosing to focus on my studies. I foresee this being the biggest barrier to my success with school, not enough energy to go around. But I know if I approach this step toward my ultimate goal with a gradual but steady pace, I will eventually be able to help people heal through art.  Anything is doable if you do it one piece at a time.

Goal #3

According to the National Institute of Health, Neurofeedback is “a method that assists subjects to control their brainwaves consciously.” This would help my brain be aware of itself so that it can make adjustments to improve the way that I think and feel. This could also open pathways to different ways of thinking and levels of consciousness.  This can help me with mental health challenges as well as insomnia.  It could help me with my anxiety about driving.  It’s an amazing tool that I can work on developing for the rest of my life.  In order to make this happen, I need to start saving at least $50 per month.  The total cost of the basic program is $2500.  Right now we’re barely getting by.  I’m going to need to cut the last of our frivolities and be resolute about it, if I want to consistently be able to save what I need to make this happen..  

So that’s me, Beth, and my top three goals moving forward!  It was great to meet you all and feel free to reach out to me with any questions or comments that you have.  I would be very happy to hear from you!  I’m certainly excited about this internship and the possibilities for me here at Amalfi! 

All the Best,

Beth